Blissful Torture
by MangaMamma
Summary: Shu wants to tell Suguru something. What better way than a song?


**Disclaimer**: The hilariously madcap gang of Gravitation does not belong to me.

**A/N**: Two guys share a brief kiss. Gasp!

**Blissful Torture**

"That still doesn't sound right. Arggghh!" Suguru slammed his fist into the keyboard. He'd been working on this arrangement for hours now. Shuichi had written a new song and he wanted something with a slow beat. He'd written a ballad, which was quite unusual for the high energy songwriter and after reading the beautiful lyrics Suguru was determined to come up with something equally beautiful.

"What's my problem!"

He walked around the deserted studio, running his hands through his hair. The others left hours ago. Shuichi hadn't even given him the new lyrics until he was ready to leave, which he thought strange considering he'd had them with him the whole session. Why didn't he bring the new song out for Hiro to work on as well? Maybe Shuichi was testing him for some reason. But why? He thought they'd gotten past that whole suspicion-through-nepotism thing. He thought they'd actually become friends.

Suguru growled and kicked the wall. He was just tired and frustrated. Of course Shuichi wasn't testing him. They were friends and he trusted him with a new song. He picked the sheet up with the lyrics and read them again.

If only you knew the effect you had

Sending me into heaven with those eyes

How much you've become

How much more I want

You are my blissful torture

Suguru sighed and looked up at the clock which showed it was almost 9pm. He'd been here working on the song for three hours now. "Damn." He turned off the keyboard and grabbed his bag, shoving the lyrics in the side pocket and heading out the door.

As he drove home, he tried to clear his mind and think about the things he had to take care of in the next few days but those damn lyrics kept coming back along with Shuichi's words and smiling face.

"I wrote a new song and I was hoping you could give it life 'Saki. I'm not looking to put it on the current release. It's more of a…personal project."

Suguru took the lyrics and agreed to help him. After all, that was his job. But Shuichi had said it was a personal project, which peaked Suguru's interest. It also meant that Shuichi was turning to him for help as a friend, not just a band mate. And that, more than anything, made this important to Suguru. He'd read the lyrics once everyone had left and became enthralled. He felt the power of the words. He could **_relate_** to the words. _Maybe that's why I'm so frustrated. **I'm** taking this personally._

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Three days later and Suguru still wasn't satisfied with the melody. His idea of what the song should sound like wasn't simpatico with their music style. He returned from the soda machine ready to work on the song again and found the recording room wasn't unoccupied anymore.

"Shuichi? What are you doing here? I thought you left hours ago."

The pink-haired singer looked up from his seat behind the keyboard and smiled. "I did. But when I stopped by your apartment, your neighbor told me you've been keeping late hours so I thought I'd see if you were here."

"W-why are you looking for me?"

"I wanted to see how the song was coming. Any luck?"

Suguru blushed slightly and walked completely into the room, letting the door close behind him. As he approached the keyboard, he thought Shuichi would get up so he could sit down, but he just moved over a little, leaving Suguru a small space to sit down. "Yes and no." He sat down on the crowded bench and blushed even more at the closeness. Their bare shoulders brushed against each other, and he could smell the singer's spicy cologne. "I found a melody, but it doesn't fit with our music."

"Don't worry about the band's music. This song is different. Special. I gave it to you because I know you could give it the beautiful voice it deserved."

"Shuichi…"

Suguru couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was this Shindou Shuichi, carefree hyper lead singer of the techno pop group Bad Luck? He sounded too mature to be that Shuichi. Not that Suguru didn't like the change. It was nice. He looked different somehow too. He looked….softer? Was that right?

"Yes 'Saki?"

"N-nothing. Why don't I just play you what I came up with?"

"May I sing along?"

"Of course."

Suguru took a deep breath and let the melody come forth, mixing with Shuichi's voice, creating a song full of the pain and pleasure of unrequited love. When he finished, his face was flushed again and he was shaking slightly. He didn't look at Shuichi, he just sat there, waiting for the singer's judgment. Instead of words though, Shuichi leaned over and kissed the keyboardist on the cheek, lingering a few seconds before pulling back.

Suguru turned surprised eyes to his band mate. "Thank you 'Saki. You've given my feelings life."

"I..I don't…."

"I wrote this song for you."

"For….me?"

"This is how I feel…..about you. **_You_** are my blissful torture and this….this was the only way I could think to tell you without making a complete fool of myself."

Suguru was speechless. _Is this some sort of dream? Did I fall asleep at the keyboard again? Where is this coming from? Shuichi has feelings for me? I never thought_…. The sound of the door clicking open brought him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Shuichi leaving.

"Shuichi, wait."

The pink-haired singer smiled, "Don't worry about it 'Saki. I didn't really expect you to return my feelings. I just wanted you to know. Now go home and get some rest. You've been looking worn out lately and if you start to look any worse, I'll make sure K comes to take care of you. Goodnight 'Saki." Shuichi winked at the stunned keyboardist and left.

Suguru sat at his keyboard, staring at the door for almost half an hour before getting up and going home.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Suguru walked into the meeting room the next day to find Shuichi and Hiro arguing over who was the better soccer player while K sat on the window sill, polishing his gun.

"Hey guys."

Suguru was worried that things would be awkward between him and Shuichi after what happened last night, but Shuichi seemed like his normal self. He smiled and waved in greeting like he always did. Hiro too. Nothing out of the ordinary. Suguru had been up all night thinking about what happened and he was exhausted. But Shuichi seemed well rested and lively as ever. _That bastard. He dumps something like that on me and then has the nerve to get a decent night's sleep? That's bullshit_!

"Suguru! Perfect timing. Now these two idiots can shut up and get to work." K holstered his gun and stood, motioning for everyone to sit down. "You have four days to decide which three songs you're going to play at the benefit. I want a final list before you leave today and rehearsals for the three days following. Got it?" The three members of Bad Luck nodded in unison. "Ok then. Get to work. I'll check in on you later." Their manger got up and left the room without further conversation.

"Has anyone else noticed K's strange behavior lately?"

"Now that you mention it, he hasn't drawn his gun on me once this week." Shuichi turned a worried face to his band mates, "Do you think he doesn't like me anymore?"

"I'm sure he likes you just fine Shu. But I'm serious. Something's up with the big guy and I think we have a right to know."

"Are you suggesting we spy on our manager Hiro?"

Suguru eyed the guitarist suspiciously. Normally it was Shuichi who came up with the crazy schemes. Now, the typically levelheaded Hiro was being sidetracked by their manager's supposed lack of weird behavior. Was the whole world going crazy!

"I think that in the best interest of our band, we should find out what's going on."

"Alright! Let's play super spy!"

Suguru sighed and put his head down on the table. He was getting a headache and listening to the enthusiastic singer ramble on about infrared goggles, listening devices and the art of being stealthy wasn't helping.

"Hey, Fujisaki. Are you ok?"

"Huh?" He looked up to see a concerned Hiro leaning against the table next to him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired." He stole a quick glance at Shuichi and sure enough, he was met with an equally concerned look from a pair of violet eyes. "Why don't we try and decide on the songs now so you and Shuichi can use it as an excuse to go track him down?"

"You're not going to join us?"

Suguru looked over at Shuichi and felt his stomach do a somersault. "Espionage isn't my cup of tea." He offered a small smile to Shuichi and Hiro before reaching in his bag for a pad of paper and pencil. "Ok….who wants to start the arguing with suggesting a song?"

It only took them an hour to agree on the three-song set list. Suguru was surprised at how easily they debated and agreed on the songs. _Maybe we're all finally in synch as a band_. "Hey guys?" He turned to face the two conspirators who were debating about the best way to spy on their manager. "Do you mind if I go home and rest? I'm really not feeling well."

Hiro and Shuichi looked at each other, then back to Suguru. "Sure. Go home and get some rest. We can handle this mission." Hiro winked at him and offered a mock salute.

"Yeah, go rest up. We have a busy schedule coming up the next six months or so with our new release coming out." Shuichi got up and put his arm around Suguru's shoulder, "Besides, we can't have K killing all three members of Bad Luck now can we?"

"Shu's right. If he finds out we're spying on him, we're dead." Hiro pointed to his temple, his hand formed into a gun.

Suguru chuckled and walked out of Shuichi's arm, picking up his bag and heading for the door. "Thanks guys. And good luck!" Suguru waved goodbye as he walked out the door, never bothering to look back.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Suguru went straight home and took a soothing hot bath before collapsing in his bed. He was so tired, he didn't dream or wake up once until the doorbell penetrated his sleep. He turned sleep-bleary eyes to his clock and saw it was after five in the evening. Suguru groaned and considered just ignoring whoever was at the door, but he knew that somehow he would feel guilty about it later.

He wrapped and tied the yukata in place and opened the door to find a smiling Shuichi. "Hey there sleepy head. How you feeling?"

"Shuichi? Uh, I'm fine. What are you doing here?" Suguru stepped aside and let him in, watching in mild shock as his singer walked in, threw his bag down and turned a determined face to him.

"Jeez 'Saki, you act like I've never stopped by unannounced before. I'm here to make sure you're feeling better and you're taking care of yourself of course."

He studied Suguru, tilting his head to one side, then the other. He had that sexy, tousled hair look from sleeping and Shuichi would be willing to bet any amount of money he was still real warm from being nestled in his bed.

Suguru felt the heat rise to his face under the scrutiny and escaped by heading back into his bedroom. "Let me put some clothes on. Be right back." Suguru emerged a few minutes later in a pair of loose fitting pants and a t-shirt to find Shuichi reclining in the living room watching TV.

"So how did your mission go today? Find out anything about K's life?"

"Nothing to explain his weird behavior lately. I did gain a small ounce of satisfaction when we found out he took my advice about the ice cream shop in Overlook Park. Other than that, he ran some errands, had a few meetings then went home. Pretty dull huh?" Shuichi looked over at Suguru who was now sitting on the sofa and frowned. "Seriously, 'Saki, how do you feel?"

"Still tired. My headache isn't as bad, but it's still there."

"Have you eaten?"

"No. I just took a bath and went to bed."

"Well then, let's start there." Shuichi got up and dug through his bag, pulling out several containers and heading for the kitchen. "My mom keeps making me these dinners and dropping them off. I'm going to put some in your freezer and I'll heat up two for us right now. Would you like something to drink?"

"Uh, some juice please." Suguru got up and headed into the kitchen, "Listen Shuichi, you don't have to do this. I can----"

"You can take your ass back in the living room and pull out the movies I brought. Shoo!"

Suguru didn't have the energy to argue with his friend so he did as he was told. As he browsed the movie titles, Shuichi came in with drinks. "Have you taken any medicine?" Suguru shook his head 'no' so Shuichi went in search of aspirin. "Here you go."

Shuichi stooped down in front of Suguru, waiting for him to swallow the pills before pulling the dark-haired boy's forehead to his own. "It doesn't feel like you have a fever. That's good." He let go of Suguru's head and smiled at the blush on the other's cheeks. _Too adorable_.

"Shuichi?" Suguru stared at the floor, not sure what he wanted to say, but feeling like there was something he should say. But when he looked up into the violet eyes that were only mere inches from him, all he could think to say was, "Thank you."

Shuichi chuckled, "You're welcome."

Ding

"There's the food. Why don't you put in a movie and we'll be all set, ok?"

Shuichi went off to get the food and Suguru set up the movie. They ate dinner and watched the movie. When the movie ended, Shuichi looked over and saw that Suguru was asleep. He went into the bedroom and brought a blanket out for his friend. After he tucked him in, he sat on the floor beside the sofa and marveled at the beauty of the young man lying before him. He felt a little guilty for causing him such trouble. First he was losing sleep because of the song, and then he couldn't sleep because of what Shuichi confessed the other night.

Shuichi brushed some errant strands of hair from his forehead. "I'm sorry if I upset you 'Saki. I just wanted you to know how I felt. If I knew it was going to upset you so much that you'd get sick, I would never have said anything."

He laid his head down on the sofa, snuggling into Suguru's shoulder and chuckled. "You kinda snuck up on me too. You went from being the Tohma-family keyboardist not to be trusted to a valuable band mate. Then you became my friend. And then one day I was sitting in the recording studio listening to you play, watching your fingers fly across the keys, that soft look on your face you get when you're really into the music and it hit me. I really like you. I want to spend more time with you, and learn all about you." Shuichi sighed, lost in his memory, "And then when you stopped playing and looked up at me, all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss those smiling lips. But don't worry 'Saki. I realize you don't feel the same way about me and I won't push it. I'd rather keep you as my friend and live with this blissful torture than lose you completely. But I had to take the chance ya know?"

Shuichi's eyes went wide at the soft touch on his head. He didn't dare look up. _Oh gods! How much did he hear_? _I bet I sounded so stupid._

"Shuichi…look at me."

Shuichi slowly turned his face upwards and saw the object of his affection with wet tracks on his cheeks. Long slender fingers reached out and caressed his cheek and he closed his eyes. The fingers made their way to the back of his neck and gently pulled him forward. Shuichi still couldn't open his eyes, even after warm, hesitant lips brushed against his.

"Just be patient with me Shuichi."

Shuichi felt the hand slip from his neck and he heard a quite sigh. He opened his eyes to find Suguru lying there, eyes closed in apparent sleep. Shuichi ran his thumb across the wet cheeks, wiping away any evidence of tears. "I'll be waiting for you 'Saki." He leaned in and kissed the sleeping keyboardist on the forehead.

Shuichi cleaned up the kitchen before leaving Suguru's house. He couldn't keep the smile off his face for the rest of the night, including in his sleep, which was filled with beautiful piano music and Suguru.

The End...

5/17/2005

7


End file.
